Agents of Change - How To Donate

Here it is - the fast and easy recap of how to donate toward Seth's adoption and be one more Agent of Change:

When we began the Kroeker family had two pressing financial needs.  

$1,560 ASAP for Homestudy & US Immigration

PLUS 

$5,075 in the next few weeks to get that big ol' dossier to China!! 

 

FYI - The first of those needs was covered with-in the first few days of the need going public.  Praise the Lord!!! 

 

Which means all Agent of Change donations are able to go directly to the second, now most pressing need, getting the family's paperwork submitted to China so the adoption process can keep moving.  HURRAY!!!

Whether you have been collecting change or not, I still invite you to be an Agent of Change for Seth in whatever way you can.

 

#1 - Help today.  Use the links below to visit the family's blog and make a donation of ANY size - $1 is as good as $100... Homestudies and Immigration paperwork take weeks to complete and process.  Every day these fees are needed is another day Seth waits to come home.


Kroeker family's blog about the most urgent needs:
Tidal Waves and Birthdays

Kroeker family's original blog introducing Seth:
Oh Yeah They Gone

#2 - Donate Your Change.  Join me as an Agent of Change by donating any amount of pocket change.  On July 1 - TOMORROW! - count the change you've collected and donate that amount toward bringing Seth home as soon as possible.  And don't worry about the amount - $1 is as good as $100.  God can work miracles with the tiniest bit of faith.  Give what you can and let Him do the rest!

For tax-deductible donations, you may write a check for the amount collected and send it to -

Fellowship Bible Church 
"I Choose You Fund"
1210 Franklin Rd.
Brentwood, TN 37207
Please write "Kroeker family" on memo line or note attached to check

OR 

You may send your money via PAYPAL (not tax-dedcutible). 

send to: kroekerfamily@hotmail.com

 

If you have any questions, please just ask.  

 

THANK YOU!

 

You Can't Go Home Again - Or Can You?

They  say “You can’t go home again,” but I think they are wrong.  Actually, I think I would love to someday know who “THEY” are, but that’s a whole other subject…

“You can’t go home again.”  Where did that saying come from?  And what exactly does it mean?  In its literal sense it means what it says – you can’t go home again – but that obviously isn’t true as most everyone goes home every day.  Again, and again, and again…  But it’s not meant to be taken literally, I don’t think.

According to Wikipedia (yes, I’m referencing Wikipedia…) You Can’t Go Home Again is actually the title of a book by Thomas Wolfe in which the main character writes a novel about the town he grew up in which makes him unwelcome to return due to his neighbors not appreciating his depiction of their small town.  Of course, this vastly knowledgeable website (yes, I’m kidding!) also lists You Can’t Go Home Again as the title of a song by DJ Shadow and the title of an episode of the TV show Battlestar Galactica.  So, I’m not really sure we’re getting to the crux of the matter here, perhaps we should look elsewhere for insight.

“You can’t go home again.”  You can’t recapture what is gone.  The past is the past.  History is history.  Nothing is ever exactly the same twice.  You’ll never be exactly who you once were.  Things change.  People grow up.  Views expand.  Childhood games are exchanged for adult opinions.  You can’t go back to what isn’t there anymore…  But I still say “THEY” are wrong.

When my life changed suddenly from settled, secure and married to lost, scared and single I definitely ran home.  Not literally in a physical sense, that would have been weird since some other family now lives in the house I grew up in, but I ran to what was familiar.  What was certain.  What was steady in a world that felt like it was crumbling down around me.  My family.  My old friends.  My roots.  I didn’t pick up and move, (okay, we actually did have to do that at one point…) but I most certainly ran back to the emotional arms of security and comfort.  And I went HOME.

Today I am in San Francisco.  Actually, as I write this I am dipping my fries in ketchup as I smell the yummy burger just delivered to me at the Hard Rock Café at Pier 39.  Yes, I’m writing while eating, but it’s not like I’m running with scissors… and I am alone at my table so I’m not being rude…  Anyway, back to the point here… 

Today I am in San Francisco.  For some this may seem a prime vacation destination, but for me it’s much more like home.  It’s natural.  It’s familiar.  It’s comfortable like that old shoe comparison.  I have been coming to San Francisco for as long as I can remember and not a single memory is bad.  Some less worthy of reverence than others, but nothing tainted or disturbing.  And so many more filled with joy and laughter.

This was one of my grandmother’s favorite places.  She talked about it all the time.  I remember coming up here with her on the train.  Riding the cable cars.  Walking the hills.  Eating the chocolate… And as a child, my immediate family would come on vacation.  We would drive across the Golden Gate Bridge.  Stroll through the five-story Macy’s.  Eat at the Alcatraz Café.  Visit the sea lions.  When I was in college my parents moved to the bay area and I began to visit San Francisco with high school friends and college roommates.  Riding BART.  Touring Alcatraz.  Visiting the sea lions.  After I was married we still continued to visit – being sure to dine at the Old Spaghetti Factory at Jack London Square.  Laughing at the “tourists”.  Staring at the crazy street performer escaping chains for cash.  Visiting the sea lions.

And today, well, here I am again.  Back in those “old stomping grounds”.  No companion.  No set plans.  No map.  And no heavy heart.  Because I’m home.  Comfortable in my surroundings.  Familiar with my past.  Moving steadily into my future.  And it’s peaceful here.  Tranquil.  Comfortable.  Like an old shoe.

Now, I’m not saying I want to move here and start a new life in San Francisco.  I don’t need to nor would I seriously blend in around here too well, but this place is a piece of who I am.  The time spent here helped form me.  The memories of various trips and those friends and family members I visited with are part of who I am.  Who I was.  Who I’m becoming.  This place is a piece of home and it reminds me of all the blessings I’ve been given throughout my life.

I won’t lie, as I sit here alone there is a little piece of me that is a bit melancholy – no so much sad to be here by myself, but more wistful for the next time I return hopefully with company in tow.  But it’s still home.  An island in the journey that’s rock steady and available to me when I need to touch base.

If you didn’t catch it before, there are sea lions here.  And I love to come visit them.  They are big.  They are cute.  (And I’m sure they’d be cuddly if I were allowed close enough to them to find out…)  And although they were originally unwanted and boaters tried to shoo them away, over the years the big “they” of Pier 39 has come to accept them.  Exploit them a bit in fact to attract animal suckers like me – but ultimately allow the sea lions to make this part of their home.  An island of refuge on their journey.  A safe haven where they can touch base before moving on.  A place to feel safe, and to rest among friends and the familiar.

So, perhaps at heart I’m really just a California Sea Lion.  Perhaps that is why I’m drawn back to San Francisco and have such fond memories of all my times here.  Maybe in the big scheme of things, I’m just venturing between my own islands of refuge, touching base at my own safe havens to rest and refuel before continuing on my journey.  But isn’t that what God invites to do along way?  To come home?  To check in?  To rest in His arms while we refuel for the next part of our journey?  To spend time with Him and allow Him to help us feel safe and return to the familiar? 

So, yes, I just compared visiting San Francisco with spending time in the arms of my loving Savior, and yes that is probably one of the strangest comparisons this city will ever see.  But what I can say, perhaps I really am just a pinniped deep down in my heart.  And honestly…  a sea lion?  I can think of far worse things to be.

May the Lord find you wherever you are today, and may He provide you the safe havens you need as you travel the rest of your journey, because with Jesus it doesn't matter what THEY say - you can always go home again.

These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.  John 16:33

The name of the LORD is a strong tower: the righteous runs into it, and is safe.  Proverbs 18:10

I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep: for thou, LORD, only makes me dwell in safety.  Psalm 4:8

My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him.  Psalm 62:1

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. John 14:27

The God of my rock; in Him will I trust: He is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my Savior; Thou saved me from violence. I will call on the LORD, who is worthy to be praised: so shall I be saved from mine enemies.  2 Samuel 22:3-4

Cut Yourself Some Slack - Laugh, Forgive, and Make It Right

Quandary:  You get in the middle of a line thinking it is the end of the line because the facility’s employee has asked those already in line to leave a path for cross-traffic.  After listening to the employee redirect several other middle-of-the-line-joiners you realize your mistake.  Do you step out of line and move to the true rear of the line OR do you remain where you are and pretend you have done everything according to code and have no reason to relocate?

Live the Lie?…. Or…. Admit your Mistake and make Correction?...

How often do we all face this type of decision?  We misspeak, but don’t want to look foolish so opt out of correcting ourselves.  We forget to drop something in the mail as promised, but say we did anyway and hope no one checks the postmark.  We lie so no one knows we didn’t do, don’t know, don’t want it, didn’t care…  All because it’s “easier” or “faster” or “better” to stay where we are than to admit we screwed up. 

But is it?

Is it easier on the inside?  In our hearts?  In our minds?  It takes a whole lot of effort to ignore your conscious.  It takes a whole lot of work to keep most lies going.  And it takes a huge toll when a house of cards comes crashing down around you and those in your vicinity.

But we all do it.

Why?

As we so cursed as human beings that we must spend our entire existence trying to cover up what embarrasses us?  Our little foibles.  Our flaws.  Our "oops!" moments.  All those little things that might make us look – oh my goodness! – HUMAN?!

In Romans 3:22 Paul reminds us that we all fall short of the glory of God.  None of us is perfect.  None of us has it all together.  No one does things the right way at the right time every time.  If we did there would be no need for spell check, or "do over's", or photoshop.  Or more importantly… FORGIVENESS.

God did not create forgiveness so that we can forgive everyone else who does something we don’t approve of or are offended by or think we would never do.  Just the opposite.  God provided forgiveness for US!  You and me.  He didn’t need it.  He still doesn’t need it.  WE do.  You and me.  Because we’re human. 

All of us.

And we make mistakes.

All the time.

We’re not perfect. 

Even though sometimes we reeeeaaaally don’t want to admit that.

So, instead of feeling guilty for losing your temper.  Or embarrassed that you accused someone wrongly.  Or covering up a mistake with a lie.  Or feeling less worthy because you made the same mistake again.  Forgive yourself.  Then make it right.  You’re human.  You are gonna make mistakes.  And you are already forgiven – Jesus died a long time ago because He knew we were going to screw things up exactly like we do.

Because we’re human.

All of us.

Going back to my original quandary – the situation I described really happened.  Not to me, but to the lady who found herself in front of me in line at Union Station in Los Angeles because she cut in line and never corrected her mistake.  And you know what, she got checked in before I did.  And she got on our train before I did.  But we both got where we were going.  We both sat in the same row, next to the same window, sharing the same arm rest.  So her choosing to stay in the middle of the line didn’t really ultimately affect me at all, (Okay, it made me a little mad thus prompting this post topic…) but it sure did make her look uncomfortable as she waited in line constantly looking behind her to see if the station employee would notice her misstep and send her to the rear of the line.

And so the question remains – it is worth it?  Is compromising your honesty to avoid admitting a mistake really worth it?  Because we are all going to get to our final destinations, but what condition will our hearts and minds be in when we get there?   

Forgiveness is gift.  A free gift.  No strings attached.  (Yes, I just quoted Barrington Bunny - because he's the best!)  I’m not saying we should do whatever we want and then simply say we forgive ourselves, but I am saying to cut yourself some slack.  Learn to laugh at your mistakes.  Accept that you are human.  And don’t worry about moving to the back of the line when it's the right thing to do.  It's not worth your integrity to avoid admitting you're human.  Besides, don’t you remember, Jesus said the last will be first… 

This righteousness is given through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference between Jew and Gentile, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith.  Romans 3:22-25a

And no longer shall each one teach his neighbor and each his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they shall all know me, from the least of them to the greatest, declares the Lord. For I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more.”  Jeremiah 31:34

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.  Philippians 4:8

Agents of (Pocket) Change

This is my friend Suzanne Kroeker....

     ...and her son Joel - who indirectly introduced us to each other.

And this is Seth, another son...

    ...who just turned three in China, rather than with his family in TN.

And this is Snoopy... 

      ...because ALL good adoptive mothers waiting impatiently for their sons to come home from China rely on Snoopy to help us celebrate the big and little things.

And this is where YOU come in...

About two years ago I met Suzanne through a few mutual friends, our Show Hope connections and Facebook.  She and her husband were preparing to travel to China to bring home their son (Joel) and were willing to try to deliver a gift to Jack (who was at the time living at the state run orphanage) for us while in Luoyang.  Well, the delivery was successful.  Suzanne was able to send us not only photos of Jack, but also video of him looking at the photo album we had sent, and she and I have been in contact ever since. 

But we'd never met.  Until last month...

Over the past holiday weekend I was blessed with the ability to travel to Tennessee to attend the Show Hope 10th Anniversary Celebration.  While there I was blessed even more by having the opportunity to volunteer at the Sunday evening concert, lending a hand wherever it was needed.  And that led me to one of my most highly anticipated finally-meet-you-in-person moments of the entire weekend.  I got to hug Suzanne!  In person!  Hooray!

So, there we were, late on Sunday night. After the concert.  While everyone else was on their way back to their cars.  Just chatting away... about life, and adoption, and kids, and how majestically fabulous our God is and how He never fails to meet us where we are.  And then she did it.  Right there.  In the lobby of the Lipscomb University's Allen Arena.  She slipped me a twenty dollar bill and told me that although her family was really reaching to meet their adoption funding needs the Lord had really placed it upon her heart to give me a little something to help my household.  And that was all it took.  Because God is AWESOME.

The gift was $20, which she actually seemed apologetic for (silly woman!), but what she didn’t realize was that it never became mine.  As soon as the bill changed hands the thought in my head was, “I need to give this back to them somehow”.  And the next thought was, “Tenfold”.

Later that night, as I lay in bed recounting the many events of a jam-packed reunion weekend my mind continued to return to the $20 bill that now rested snuggly in the inner pocket of my purse.  And a completely crazy conversation (well, I told you before I had voices in my head...) kept pushing the earlier two thoughts to the side.   

“Tenfold?  Tenfold?  Why stop there?  I want you to return that gift one-hundred fold.” 

"WHAT?!!  100 fold?  That's crazy.  That is $2000!!!  That’s CRAZY!!!" 

But no matter how loud my mind screamed the insanity of the idea, its panic-stricken reflex was continually countered by the same still, small voice simply stating, “Trust me.  I can do anything.   We'll return it 100 fold.  Or more...“

So, that was my plan. Did you catch that?  My plan.  Like I am somehow in charge of any of this stuff and have a clue what God is up to.  What's that verse again??? "The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."  (Proverbs 16:9)  Oh yes, that one...

See, I had this great idea.  I was going to ask everyone I knew to collect their pocket change for two weeks and then we would put all the change together, send it all to Suzanne's family's adoption fund, and in His great provision God would work it out to be a total of $2000.  Thus changing $20 into $2000 in just 2 weeks.

Pretty cool, huh?  

Except that it was my plan.  Not His.

But that's okay, because His plan turned out to be WAY cooler.  I mean, WAAAAAAAAAAAAAY COOLER!

Since returning from Tennessee I have tried several times to get myself organized and get my Agents of Change fundraiser up and running for the Kroeker family, but life kept getting in the way.  I didn't think much of it, as I was trying to put this all together right on top of the last two weeks of school, trying to get my kids ready for a two-week vacation, trying to organize a short vacation of my own, and basically just trying to get through the day like I always am... but this morning it hit me.  I wasn't supposed to get it going yet.  I wasn't supposed to get help in returning that twenty dollars.  God already had it taken care of.  The original tenfold, not 100-fold, but He already had a plan.  

So, this morning, to the complete glory of God - AND IN ABSOLUTELY NO WAY MY OWN DOING - I was able to return Suzanne's twenty dollars to her family along with two hundred more dollars that God placed in my hand just for them.  Not a dime came from my savings.  Not a dime came from my pocket.  Every single dollar I sent was provided by the Hand of God.  And that, my friends, goes so far beyond amazing I don't even have a word for it.  It is beyond description.

But I do know this.  He's not done.  This adoption thing is not over.  Seth is not home, and the Kroeker family still needs our help. And the point of all of this is to invite you to be part of the His next miracle.

The family has two pressing financial needs.  

$1,560 ASAP (this week!!) for Homestudy & US Immigration

PLUS 

$5,075 in the next few weeks to get that big ol' dossier to China!! 

I would like to invite you to be an Agent of Change for both, or in whatever way you can.

#1 - Help today.  Use the links below to visit Suzanne's blog and make a donation of ANY size - $1 is as good as $100... to help cover the $1560 they need this week.  Homestudies and Immigration paperwork take weeks to complete and process.  Every day these fees are needed is another day Seth waits to come home.

#2 - Join me as an Agent of Change by collecting your pocket change for the next two weeks.  Grab a Ziploc bag, an empty bottle, and old shoe – whatever you have and start dropping your change right in.

And get your friends involved.  Share this blog, spread the word on Facebook, send out an update on Twitter, pick up the phone and call someone, or just walk across the room.  But I challenge you to ask at least one other person to join you in collecting pocket change for just two weeks.

Then, at the end of the two weeks - we'll call is July 1st just to keep things simple - count what you've collected and donate that amount toward bringing Seth home as soon as possible.

For tax-deductible donations, you may write a check for the amount collected and send it to -

Fellowship Bible Church 
"I Choose You Fund"
1210 Franklin Rd.
Brentwood, TN 37207
Please write "Kroeker family" on memo line or note attached to check

OR 

You may send your money via PAYPAL (not tax-dedcutible). 

send to: kroekerfamily@hotmail.com

So that is it.  God already returned His money to Suzanne, but He has so much more for US to do.  Pocket change.  That is all I'm asking.  Save it up.  Count it up.  Pass it along.  And by the way, my goal is no longer $2000...  God has already showed me that I dream way too small.  So I'm simply going to wait and see what total comes in.  But I have a sneaky feeling that neither one of those financial needs are going to still be on the "needs" list.

Because I know Snoopy is just waiting to dance.

Suzanne's blog about the most urgent needs:
Tidal Waves and Birthdays

Suzanne's original blog introducing Seth:
Oh Yeah They Gone

Hey! Let's Talk About Abortion!

Okay, now that I have your attention, I have a proposition for you…  

Want to do something totally different this summer?  Want to join me in something I bet you’ve never done before?  How about helping me write my blog?  A potentially heart-wrenching, but hopefully heart-healing post, but a post that shares perspectives and recognizes old (or new) wounds so that they can began to heal… and helps others to heal too.   

Interested?  Even a little bit?  Maybe?  At least enough to read more?  If so, here’s how it works….  

To help me with this project you have to commit to two things.  Just two.  Neither is hard, but I will be honest about both actually taking a bit of your time.  Not tons of your time, not your whole summer or anything, just a few hours over the next couple weeks during which you will read a novel and then respond to it – like a book report.  Then, I will do the rest of the work - reading what everyone has written and compiling the responses, along with my own, to create a blog post about the book, the theme, the stories offered from you, and the love of the Father.

So, still interested?  Beginning to get interested?  Think I have lost my mind and have been out of the classroom far too long if I am actually asking grown adults to voluntarily complete a book report during their summer free time?  Well, regardless, hopefully you are still with me and at least a little bit willing to consider the idea.  I know it’s crazy.  And I know it’s odd.  But it is also something I have wanted to do for a really long time and really feel like now is the time to try.

I realize that the storyline of the book I’ve chosen contains many controversial topics, but that’s kind of the idea.  When I originally read the book it struck me right to the core.  I don’t want to share much at this point as I do not want my words to influence your response, but I will tell you that the book left me hurting for the walking wounded among us – inside the church and outside of it.  It is a book I think everyone should read and that cannot be read without evoking some sort of response, and that is why I am inviting you to join me in this endeavor.  The idea is really frill-free.  Basically, I just want people to be honest and open so that each person’s thoughts and stories may be shared for the benefit of others.  

Over the next few weeks I will reread the book from cover to cover and finally (I’ve wanted to do this forever!) write my own personal response to its characters and content.  I will address how my own personal history intersects with the book and how I have been changed by and grown from it.  There is a little voice inside me that says this entire idea is crazy, but there’s also a much louder voice inside encouraging me to move forward and try it.  And, more importantly, a small prodding whisper telling me there is work to be done and it’s time to get on it with it.

So, I invite you to join me.  What’s the worst that can happen?  I read a book I love all by myself and post a personal reflection to it on my blog website that no one ever reads.  The end.  Worst that can happen.  In reality, no harm, no foul.  But I have a sneaky feeling God has something else in mind.  That this is a chance to bring people together.  To address a difficult subject in a faith-building, love-offering way and to allow someone somewhere the opportunity to share a story or begin to heal a piece of his or her past in a way that is long overdue and will bring glory to God in the process.

So, think about it.  Pray about it.  Check out the book and ask a friend if it the whole thing is crazy if you like.  But if you are game, dive into the story, give it a read, reflect upon it with an open heart and open mind, and share what you take away from it.  There is no judgment in this.  No condemnation.  I’m not looking for any right or wrong answers.  I am just seeking input from others to see where it leads.  I have no hidden agenda.  I am simply responding to a heart-felt prodding on my part and asking you to join me.

If you have any questions or need more guidance, please feel free to ask.

Here is the assignment:

1.  During the next three weeks, read The Atonement Child by Francine Rivers.  (Please reread the book if you have read it in the past so that you have a current working knowledge of its text.)

2.  Write a response to the book.  Whatever you want to say. However you want to say it.  How did the book affect you?  How do you relate to one or more of the characters in the story?  Who, or what, from your life did the story remind you of?  What does the story put on your heart?  Who would you recommend the book to?  What new insights did the book bring to light for you?  How does the book prompt you to respond to the world around you?   Whatever you want to say, even if it feels totally off-base or foreign or slightly risky.
 
As a note:  I have no desire to instigate a debate about abortion through any of this, my aim is for each of us to respond to the culture surrounding the topic moreso than the morality of the physical act and to take a look at the effect of the abortion culture on those in contact with it and on the church at large. 

3.  Message, snail mail or email me your response so that I have it by July 1 (Just let me know if you need mailing/email information).  ALL responses will be read only be me and no part of any response will be used in the final blog in an identifiable way.  Names, places, dates, etc. will be changed as necessary to protect everyone’s anonymity.   Again, I have NO desire to instigate a debate about abortion, my aim is for each of us to respond to the book and the characters portrayed in it and the ramifications of abortion on the world and church at large.  

So, there it is.  A proposition of an unusual kind, but offered in all sincerity.  Hopefully you will join me.  Hopefully this will go somewhere (come July, we will see).  And hopefully you won't be afraid to read my blog posts after this given what I titled this one...