All of my life I have been taught that the Word of God is a living document. That it is spiritually created to reach us where we are no matter where we are and no matter when we get there. So perhaps that is the simple explanation for my adventures in the Bible over the past few months, but I don’t think it is that simple. (As if a book of words being a living, breathing, ever-changing document is actually simple…) I may not be able to explain it in writing, but I am telling you here and now – God is 100%, without a shadow of a doubt, beyond description or explanation alive and well and working in my life. And He is making Himself known in such an incredibly visible way that some days it is physically impossible to keep my excitement, amazement, wonder, and (insert any other adjective of incredulousness here) contained. And if you don’t believe me just ask one of the several people I send continual “He is good” texts and emails to. He is simply amazing. And I stand in perpetual awe of His continued attentiveness to my sad, pitiful little life.
And those who know Thy name put their trust in Thee, for Thou, O Lord, has not forsaken those who seek Thee. Psalm 9:10
This morning I spent almost 90 minutes on the phone with my lawyer making really difficult decisions that I am fully unprepared to make. Not unprepared because I don’t believe I am doing the right thing. Not unprepared because I don’t know what the right thing to do is. But unprepared because I know that doing the right thing at this point is going to take serious fortitude by way of my backbone having to stand strong and by holding strong to blind faith in God to provide me all He has promised in His Word as I don’t even begin to have all the answers.
He fulfills the desire of all who fear Him, He also hears them cry, and saves them. Psalm 145:19
But make those decisions I did. And then I went to the commissary and found myself crying in the bread aisle as the enormity of it all began to overtake me and sheer terror set in. And even there, amidst the tortillas and the dinner rolls, I found myself thinking – What am I terrified of? God has got my back. I have done my very best to be faithful to the greatest extent I am able and I know that God is with me. And as I wiped my tears away, secretly relieved that there was no one else in the bread aisle to witness my minor meltdown, I stood up tall and thanked my God for simply holding me in His hand. I knew this day was coming - the day it all started to sink in - though I could not have predicted it would happen by the pitas… and I know that this too shall pass, but the weight of the entire morning still simply made me weary. I know that although every step right now is necessary, I simply do not have the stomach for it so it is going to be a rough ride and I’m going to need a lot of help. So, of course, I promptly selected my loaf of bread, texted my sister asking her to pray for me, and then swung back over to the candy aisle to pick up my dear friend Mr. Hershey bar. And his brother… And his cousin…
The Lord is a stronghold to him whose way is upright. Proverbs 10:29
By the time I arrived home I was feeling a bit more composed but my head was literally still spinning. Too much information. Too many unknowns. Too major of decisions. Too tired. And too many emotions. I was still simply praying for clarity. For vision. For God to show me what to do. Oh! Wouldn’t this all be so much easier if someone would just tell me what to do? And then my daily miracle arrived.
Each day as my kids nap I sit at the top of my stairs and spend time with my Father. And, honestly, today I just couldn’t wait. I needed to seek Him. I needed to find Him. I so desperately hoped that He would just show up and show me the way. And, as is His style these days, He did not disappoint.
Most days I read my Bible first, usually the Proverb for the day, but sometimes I begin with my current devotional. There is no rhyme or reason really I just go with my gut. Well, today’s gut told me to follow up on the devotional I had just read to Sophie based on Luke 11:1. I started there – Jesus instructing us in how to pray. And as I poured my heart out into my today-inspired version of Jesus’ prayer I felt directly led to move faster than normal into my book, The Single Mom’s Devotional by Carol Floch, and so I did. Right into today’s writings entitled – Trust: Relying on God’s Faithfulness to His Promises. Wow! Isn’t that exactly what I needed to read today?! Despite everything still spinning around in my head, I had to smile when I saw the title and I quickly jumped into reading. And wouldn’t you know it hit exactly where my heart was.
He does not forget the cry of the afflicted. Psalm 9:12b
Trusting God, but still anxious about the future? Yes, that was me. But Ms. Floch did such a wonderful job of pointing out (and really reminding me of what I already know) that throughout history God has been faithful. He doesn’t ask us for blind trust as much as He asks us to believe that He will do for us what He has already done for so many others. Moses. Joshua. Daniel. Mary. Abraham. David. Esther. Job. The proof of His faithfulness spans a multitude of generations and His attentiveness to our needs is the same today as it was yesterday or even two thousand years ago.
“He (God) kept His promise all the way to the cross, where He sealed His pledge of love with His own blood. Three days later, He walked out of the tomb, keeping His promise to overcome the power of sin and death. He has kept His promises ever since by offering resurrection life through the Holy Spirit to anyone who asks. All of God’s promises are ‘yes’ to us in Christ Jesus (see 2 Corinthians). All of them.” (pg 64)
What a wonderful message to be reminded of in the midst of the overwhelming emotions and thoughts facing me today. As Ms. Floch commented, “What demonstrates trustworthiness is consistent action over time” and what better example of trustworthiness is there than consistent action by our loving Creator from the beginning of time?
“You know with all your heart and soul that not one of all the good promises the Lord your God gave you has failed. Every promise has been fulfilled, not one has failed.” Joshua 23:14
Will we have a place to live? Am I making the right decisions? Am I following the path God wants me on? Can I do this and not screw it up? Who knows. I hope and pray all those answer are “yes,” But what I know is that my God is faithful and He has proven throughout history that He is worthy of my faith and my praise and my unending thankfulness for He, Himself, is the true embodiment of TRUSTWORTHINESS. And as long as I stick with Him He’s gonna have my back. And my front. And my top. And my bottom, and my sides, and everything in between.
“For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” Romans 8:38-39 (emphasis mine)
And that, my friends, is a PROMISE.
Songs of Promise:
Yes – John Waller
Faith is Living – John Waller
Dive – Steven Curtis Chapman
No comments:
Post a Comment